Rafe (etcet) wrote,

I may be a villain, but I'm not an asshole.

Bane went grocery shopping on his way home from the office yesterday (chili fixings and cranberry juice) and, having 10 items, got in the express lane, prominently marked "10 Items or Less[1]," both because it was the shortest line, and because my favorite cashier was working it, and he's a good guy to chat with.

... beind a guy with fifteen items and zero sense of self-preservation.

Selfish Guy noticed not everything was normal behind him and made his second tactical error. "I should have worn my Batman costume."

"That would not have gone any better for you. If you can't count, how can you expect to fight?"


"You have fifteen items. And you have forgotten some of them behind that bag of ice."

"Oh. Thanks."

"You have still forgotten more of them behind the same bag."

"Maybe I'm trying to steal them. I guess that makes me the bad guy."

"It does. A pity you're not better at it."

"So, are you from the beginning or the end of the movie, anyway?"

"As I am asyet unencumbered by a crippled Batman, I would wager the earlier one. You should go."

The cashier, to his credit, kept a mostly-straight face.

At least the folks riding in the bed of the pickup truck behind which I stopped at a red light had an enthusiastic, thumbs-up double-take wen they noticed I was driving in the mask. Apparently, there was also a missed photo opportunity at work, since someone *was* dressed like Batman, but our paths didn't cross yesterday.

[1] Yes, it should be "fewer," but that is both pedantic and harder to read on limited signage space
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