Some fifty-four year old pornblogger thought they should give me one my presents early, in the form of an adorable little threat of a throat punch.
Personally, I’m somewhat baffled that they apparently took the time, to check out enough of my selfies to call me a narcissist, and somehow managed to overlook the fact that most of them are taken in the gym, which kind of undermines their assertion that I’m lazy.
The piquant sentiment, the bloviating delivery, the complete failure to conjugate and punctuate…. *kisses fingers* … a sterling example of the breed, “North American Conservative Dipshit.”
I hope this was the hill you wanted to die on, champ.
Look, I get it. You saw the actually-heinous people and bots posting child exploitation pornography and recognized it for the evil it is.
You reacted.
Not out of a sense of justice or moral outrage, obviously, because you are corporate entities for whom those concepts do not apply, but because they threatened your corporate value (because All Must Bow to the Craven Capitalist Command of Cupertino, and the whims of Wall Street in these, the burgeoning days of late-stage capitalism).
But, yes, you reacted.
I mean, you overreacted, and overreached, and are going to have to walk that the fuck back, but, as the poorly-drawn star says, “an attempt was made.”
But your reaction was telling on many levels, some of which were obvious to you, some of which were obvious to everyone else, and some of which might not have been obvious at all.
On the face of the Tumblr policy note we’ve all been seeing at the top of our dash is the explicit and overt sexism and puritanism that Apple has foisted on the digital marketplace by being the 800lb gorilla in the room with their app store, and anything that isn’t squeaky fucking clean when it comes to kids and nipples has no place there. “Female-presenting nipples,” for fuck’s sake. Nipples don’t know what gender they are, you dipshits. Pixels of whatever color don’t have a gender at all.
So you began flagging content as potentially violating this upcoming policy of purging, throwing an algorithm that is, frankly, as competent as the current occupant of the White House at the problem without doing even a hint of QA testing. I’m not a programmer, so what you developed and implemented is better than what I could write, but putting it into the world was demonstrably worse than the nothing I wrote.
Write better code. Do even a modicum of unit testing. GitHub is a thing, as is code review.
But, no, you panicked in the face of the impending end of 4Q18 and your need to present a shiny, healthy, investor-or-buyer-pleasing report, so you rushed it and bungled the job, and have enjoyed the attendant egg on your faces (and discovered the need for asbestos underwear that those of us who’ve been online for a couple of decades now have known about all along).
But even this inept, ham-fisted censorship attempt revealed something: you - and every other social media platform (looking real hard at you, Twitter and Facebook) - you could cut off the sexists, the racists, the homophobes, the anti-Semites, the anti-Muslims, the anti-Latinx, the “Proud Boys,” the goddamned actual Nazis, all these fucking hate groups - right at the fucking ankles. But you haven’t, and won’t, because, in the grand calculus of the iTunes store, bigots are better than tits.
You’re all craven cowards, bowing to the almighty dollar. And we see you. We see you very well.
This is why “Millenials are killing” thing after thing. The market you’re all so fond of worshiping is based on supply and demand, and our demands are simple: if you’re stupid and hateful, we want less and less to do with you, and will take our screen time and clicks and attention and money elsewhere.
People have often asked me why I hate iPhones in particular* and Apple products in general, and their eyes glaze over when I start talking about the walled garden. This, however, is a very clear, concise, and illustrative shorthand.
I don’t care how many dozens or hundreds of billions of dollars your corporations are worth (or even if Apple keeps bouncing above the $1T line). You’re not above being taken down, inch by inch, by the millions of people whom you view as consumers and commodities to be fleeced and sold, and whose eyes are opening.
So keep looking at sand dunes and sneakers and flowers and seeing NSFW content where none exists, just to protect your precious, precious valuation.
We’re going to be looking elsewhere, and, yes, even at naked ladies’ breasts.
You’re not the only boobs around. And we know which ones we want to see.
* My office’s on-call phone is an iPhone, and nothing makes me want to destroy a piece of electronics more than hearing that fucking thing ring at 3am for a false alarm.
This entry was originally posted at https://digitaldiscipline.dreamwidth.org/1069077.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
since tumblr is literally shooting itself in the dick two weeks from tomorrow, and banning every account that has ever posted explicit content, apparently.
i don't expect mine to be culled, but a lot of other people are, and DW is one of the destinations (as is pillowfort.io, as soon as they get their shit back together, presumably)
Made it through the storm unscathed, save for being without power for 51 hours or so (just before 11p Sunday to 2am Weds). Lots of small and midsize branches down in my neck of the woods.
DragonCon was a bit less enthusiastic than usual, partly due to storm worries on both sides (CS had her "evacu-vacation" flight out of Houston changed four or five times in as many days courtesy of Harvey, which was its own shitshow of stress despite not resulting in any property damage on her end, fortunately).
I haven't had a decent workout in damn near six weeks.
Dent, a/k/a “eleven pounds of sadness,” was being adorable in my gym bag before I worked out this evening.
She is a malevolent, cuddle-averse hate lump masquerading as a small set of poorly-tuned bagpipes in a fur coat.
This entry was originally posted at http://digitaldiscipline.dreamwidth.org/1063815.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
i am apparently guilty of having gotten my hopes up too high for this, given all the early reviews and the stratospheric rotten tomatoes meta score.
admittedly, being a 40-something dude, i was not the main target for this movie.
sfx were good, even if the "real 3d" took a while to get out of its own way. gal gadot was better than expected, and did a fair impression of linda carter in a few of the shots. chris pine was.... i dunno what it is about him that just doesn't work for me, but he always looks both pathetic and untrustworthy.
that was the worst villainous monologuing i have ever fucking seen. like, seriously, it was exactly why i don't read comics or watch movies based on them.
the evil scientist had two things i wish had been handled differently - the internalized misogyny, and the lack of closure (i have a probably-too-dark-but-it-would-work-for-how-the-resolution-was-shaped recommendation)
In a similar vein to Elizabeth Bear’s ( @matociquala ) “Karen Memory” and @lauraannegilman‘s “The Devil’s West” series, Lila Bowen (Delilah S. Dawson’s nom de plume for a certain chunk of her ouevre) has thrown her dusty, sweat-stained, and trail-ridden hat into the “weird west,” and done a damn fine job of it.
Nettie Lonesome takes approximately no shit and makes fewer excuses in a world that is rough and surreal, kind and cruel by turns to her and everyone else in it, and holds her stubborn chin up against a litany of adversity that would have turned lesser men (and women, and variations thereupon) into buzzard buffet. Every time the characters or audience gets a breather, it’s because there’s another headlong sprint coming.
There’s no shortage of character development for both Nettie and those folks around her, regardless of precisely how human (or not) they are, and the characters and story pull no punches with each other or the reader.
This entry was originally posted at http://digitaldiscipline.dreamwidth.org/1063150.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
trying to discern which is more stressful when it comes to making weight for a meet:
being way heavy but super-hydrated the night before and literally pissing it all off in 12 hours
being right at weight but fairly dehydrated the night before and entertaining fantasies about making long, sweet, passionate love to a fuckoff-huge glass of iced tea
(I have, barring some kind of metabolic miracle in the next sixteen hours that turns point 2 into point 1, above, given up any illusions of dropping to the next weight class down to set a national record in the deadlift this weekend, and will instead satisfy myself with incrementally raising my current state records and Wilks score in advance of a friend of mine eclipsing them when he turns 40 later this year and subsequently landing in my age bracket)
This entry was originally posted at http://digitaldiscipline.dreamwidth.org/1062085.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
So, those of you still on LJ have, if you've refreshed the page, seen their required new ToS.
Many folks who haven't already jumped ship have smelled the rats on the wind and it looks like stomping on any kind of dissent within .ru is gonna be happening with a quickness.
I will continue to crosspost for the time being from here, but, yeah. that's a bite in the dick, especially since it was easier to post pix to embed over there than it is here (at least so far).
Section 7.4 of the new ToS: “Article 10.2 of the Federal Act of the Russian Federation No. 149 “ references this un-lovely tidbit of Russian legal malarkey: Article 10.2. The Details of Dissemination of Generally Accessible Information by a Blogger 1. The owner of a website and/or a website page on the Internet on which generally accessible information is placed and to which access exceeds 3,000 users of the Internet per day (hereinafter referred to as “blogger”) when said information is placed and used, for instance when said information is placed on the given website or website page by other users of the Internet shall ensure the observance of the legislation of the Russian Federation, for instance: 1) shall not allow the website or website page on the Internet to be used for the purpose of committing the acts punishable under a criminal law, disclosing the information classified as state or another specifically law-protected secret, disseminating the materials containing public appeals for carrying out terrorist activities or publicly justifying terrorism, other extremist materials and also the materials propagating pornography, the cult of violence and cruelty and the materials containing obscene language; 2) shall verify the reliability of placed generally accessible information before it is placed and shall immediately delete unreliable information that has been placed; 3) shall not allow the dissemination of information about the private life of a citizen in breach of the civil legislation; 4) shall observe the bans and restrictions envisaged by the legislation of the Russian Federation the referendum and the legislation of the Russian Federation on elections; 5) shall observe the provisions of the legislation of the Russian Federation that regulate the procedure for disseminating mass information; 6) shall observe the rights and lawful interests of citizens and organisations, for instance the honour, dignity and business reputation of citizens as well as the business reputation of organisations. 2. The following is hereby prohibited when information is placed on a website or website page on the Internet: 1) the use of the website or website page on the Internet for the purpose of concealing or falsifying information of public significance, disseminating knowingly unreliable information under the disguise of reliable messages; 2) the dissemination of information for the purpose of discrediting a citizen or some categories of citizens on the basis of sex, age, race or ethnicity, language, religion, trade, place of residence and work and also in connection with their political convictions. 3. The blogger is entitled to: 1) freely search, receive, transmit and disseminate information by any method in accordance with the legislation of the Russian Federation; 2) set out on his website or website page on the Internet his personal judgements and assessment with an indication of his name or pseudonym; 3) place or allow the placement on his website or website page on the Internet texts and/or other materials of other users of the Internet, unless the placement of such texts and/or other materials contravenes the legislation of the Russian Federation; 4) disseminate advertisements on an onerous basis in keeping with the civil legislation, Federal Law No. 38-FZ of March 13, 2006 on Advertisement on his website or website page on the Internet. 4. An abuse of the right of disseminating generally accessible information that has manifested itself as breach of the provisions of Parts 1, 2 and 3 of the present article shall entail criminal, administrative or another liability in accordance with the legislation of the Russian Federation. 5. On his website or website page on the Internet the blogger shall place his name and initials and an e-mail address for sending legal-significance messages to him. 6. On his website or website page on the Internet the blogger shall place immediately after receiving a court’s decision that has become final and contains demand for its being published on the website or website page. 7. The owners of websites on the Internet who have registered as network editions in accordance with Law of the Russian Federation No. 2124-I of December 27, 1991 on Mass Media are not bloggers. 8. The federal executive governmental body carrying out the functions of control and supervision in the field of mass media, mass communications, information technologies and telecom shall keep a register of the websites and/or website pages on the Internet on which generally accessible information is placed and to which access exceeds 3,000 users of the Internet per day. For the purpose of ensuring the formation of the register of websites and/or website pages on the Internet the federal executive governmental body carrying out the functions of control and supervision in the field of mass media, mass communications, information technologies and telecom: 1) shall organise the monitoring of websites and website pages on the Internet; 2) shall endorse a methodology for assessing the number of users of a website or website page on the Internet per day; 3) has the right of requesting from organisers of dissemination of information on the Internet, bloggers and other persons the information required for keeping such register. Within 10 days after receiving a request from the federal executive governmental body carrying out the functions of control and supervision in the field of mass media, mass communications, information technologies and telecom said persons shall provide the information so requested. 9. In the event of detection in information-telecommunication networks, for instance on the Internet, of a website or website page which contain generally accessible information and to which access exceeds 3,000 users of the Internet per day, including the consideration of relevant applications of citizens or organisations, the federal executive governmental body carrying out the functions of control and supervision in the field of mass media, mass communications, information technologies and telecom: 1) shall include said website or website page on the Internet in the register of the websites and/or website pages on the Internet on which generally accessible information is placed and to which access exceeds 3,000 users of the Internet per day; 2) shall identify the hosting provider or the other person which ensures the placement of the website or website page on the Internet; 3) shall send to the hosting provider or the person mentioned in Item 2 of the present part a notice in electronic form in Russian and English concerning the need for provision of details allowing to identify the blogger; 4) shall record the date and time of dispatch of the notice to the hosting provider or the person mentioned in Item 2 of the present part in the relevant information system. 10. Within three working days after receiving the notice mentioned in Item 3 of Part 9 of the present article the hosting provider or the person mentioned in Item 2 of Part 9 of the present article shall provide the information allowing to identify the blogger. 11. Having received the information specified in Item 3 of Part 9 of the present article, the federal executive governmental body carrying out the functions of control and supervision in the field of mass media, mass communications, information technologies and telecom shall send a notice to the blogger informing that his website or website page has been included in the register of the websites and/or website pages on the Internet on which generally accessible information is placed and to which access exceeds 3,000 users of the Internet per day, with reference to the provisions of the legislation of the Russian Federation applicable to said website or website page on the Internet. 12. If during three months access to the website or website page on the Internet is below 3,000 users of the Internet per day that website or that website page on the Internet shall be removed on the blogger’s application from the register of the websites and/or website pages on the Internet on which generally accessible information is placed and to which access exceeds 3,000 users of the Internet per day, with a notice to this effect being sent to the blogger. The given website or website page on the Internet may be removed from that register when no application is filed by the blogger if access to the given website or website page on the Internet during six months is below 3,000 users of the Internet per day.
I went to post this morning, and got hit with the new ToS from Livejournal's Russian Overlords.
I find that I cannot in clear conscience agree to them. For one, a quick read of the translated terms tells me that Livejournal no longer pretends to adhere to the concept of Freedom of Speech and privacy as (still) practiced in the USA. For those of us who occasionally have Opinions of the political (or gender/sex-related) nature, those protections were what made such posts possible. Under Putin's Russia's laws, those posts would risk more than trolls and flamewars. And there is no guarantee that 'locking' a post would protect it.
Also worrying is the notice that the available (and kinda shitty) translation of the User Agreement" is not a legally binding document." The original User Agreement, which is valid, is located at the following address: http://www.livejournal.com/legal/tos-ru.bml - and is entirely in Russian. It might be exactly the same context as the translation - and it might not. We're not working on a standard of mutual trust to begin with...
This is the point at which I generally say "get in the damn car and drive in the direction of Away Very Fast."
Nearly fifteen years of my life's on LJ, and it hurts, but this is one of those "it's not me, it's you" situations.
So if you're reading this at LJ, come join me on Dreamwidth, or at my main blog, or hell, even on Fb, for now. Because the suricattus account is probably going to go away RSN.
and, more to the point, the salient portion of the ToS and what it references in the legal code:
Section 7.4 of the new ToS: “Article 10.2 of the Federal Act of the Russian Federation No. 149 “ references this un-lovely tidbit of Russian legal malarkey: Article 10.2. The Details of Dissemination of Generally Accessible Information by a Blogger 1. The owner of a website and/or a website page on the Internet on which generally accessible information is placed and to which access exceeds 3,000 users of the Internet per day (hereinafter referred to as “blogger”) when said information is placed and used, for instance when said information is placed on the given website or website page by other users of the Internet shall ensure the observance of the legislation of the Russian Federation, for instance: 1) shall not allow the website or website page on the Internet to be used for the purpose of committing the acts punishable under a criminal law, disclosing the information classified as state or another specifically law-protected secret, disseminating the materials containing public appeals for carrying out terrorist activities or publicly justifying terrorism, other extremist materials and also the materials propagating pornography, the cult of violence and cruelty and the materials containing obscene language; 2) shall verify the reliability of placed generally accessible information before it is placed and shall immediately delete unreliable information that has been placed; 3) shall not allow the dissemination of information about the private life of a citizen in breach of the civil legislation; 4) shall observe the bans and restrictions envisaged by the legislation of the Russian Federation the referendum and the legislation of the Russian Federation on elections; 5) shall observe the provisions of the legislation of the Russian Federation that regulate the procedure for disseminating mass information; 6) shall observe the rights and lawful interests of citizens and organisations, for instance the honour, dignity and business reputation of citizens as well as the business reputation of organisations. 2. The following is hereby prohibited when information is placed on a website or website page on the Internet: 1) the use of the website or website page on the Internet for the purpose of concealing or falsifying information of public significance, disseminating knowingly unreliable information under the disguise of reliable messages; 2) the dissemination of information for the purpose of discrediting a citizen or some categories of citizens on the basis of sex, age, race or ethnicity, language, religion, trade, place of residence and work and also in connection with their political convictions. 3. The blogger is entitled to: 1) freely search, receive, transmit and disseminate information by any method in accordance with the legislation of the Russian Federation; 2) set out on his website or website page on the Internet his personal judgements and assessment with an indication of his name or pseudonym; 3) place or allow the placement on his website or website page on the Internet texts and/or other materials of other users of the Internet, unless the placement of such texts and/or other materials contravenes the legislation of the Russian Federation; 4) disseminate advertisements on an onerous basis in keeping with the civil legislation, Federal Law No. 38-FZ of March 13, 2006 on Advertisement on his website or website page on the Internet. 4. An abuse of the right of disseminating generally accessible information that has manifested itself as breach of the provisions of Parts 1, 2 and 3 of the present article shall entail criminal, administrative or another liability in accordance with the legislation of the Russian Federation. 5. On his website or website page on the Internet the blogger shall place his name and initials and an e-mail address for sending legal-significance messages to him. 6. On his website or website page on the Internet the blogger shall place immediately after receiving a court’s decision that has become final and contains demand for its being published on the website or website page. 7. The owners of websites on the Internet who have registered as network editions in accordance with Law of the Russian Federation No. 2124-I of December 27, 1991 on Mass Media are not bloggers. 8. The federal executive governmental body carrying out the functions of control and supervision in the field of mass media, mass communications, information technologies and telecom shall keep a register of the websites and/or website pages on the Internet on which generally accessible information is placed and to which access exceeds 3,000 users of the Internet per day. For the purpose of ensuring the formation of the register of websites and/or website pages on the Internet the federal executive governmental body carrying out the functions of control and supervision in the field of mass media, mass communications, information technologies and telecom: 1) shall organise the monitoring of websites and website pages on the Internet; 2) shall endorse a methodology for assessing the number of users of a website or website page on the Internet per day; 3) has the right of requesting from organisers of dissemination of information on the Internet, bloggers and other persons the information required for keeping such register. Within 10 days after receiving a request from the federal executive governmental body carrying out the functions of control and supervision in the field of mass media, mass communications, information technologies and telecom said persons shall provide the information so requested. 9. In the event of detection in information-telecommunication networks, for instance on the Internet, of a website or website page which contain generally accessible information and to which access exceeds 3,000 users of the Internet per day, including the consideration of relevant applications of citizens or organisations, the federal executive governmental body carrying out the functions of control and supervision in the field of mass media, mass communications, information technologies and telecom: 1) shall include said website or website page on the Internet in the register of the websites and/or website pages on the Internet on which generally accessible information is placed and to which access exceeds 3,000 users of the Internet per day; 2) shall identify the hosting provider or the other person which ensures the placement of the website or website page on the Internet; 3) shall send to the hosting provider or the person mentioned in Item 2 of the present part a notice in electronic form in Russian and English concerning the need for provision of details allowing to identify the blogger; 4) shall record the date and time of dispatch of the notice to the hosting provider or the person mentioned in Item 2 of the present part in the relevant information system. 10. Within three working days after receiving the notice mentioned in Item 3 of Part 9 of the present article the hosting provider or the person mentioned in Item 2 of Part 9 of the present article shall provide the information allowing to identify the blogger. 11. Having received the information specified in Item 3 of Part 9 of the present article, the federal executive governmental body carrying out the functions of control and supervision in the field of mass media, mass communications, information technologies and telecom shall send a notice to the blogger informing that his website or website page has been included in the register of the websites and/or website pages on the Internet on which generally accessible information is placed and to which access exceeds 3,000 users of the Internet per day, with reference to the provisions of the legislation of the Russian Federation applicable to said website or website page on the Internet. 12. If during three months access to the website or website page on the Internet is below 3,000 users of the Internet per day that website or that website page on the Internet shall be removed on the blogger’s application from the register of the websites and/or website pages on the Internet on which generally accessible information is placed and to which access exceeds 3,000 users of the Internet per day, with a notice to this effect being sent to the blogger. The given website or website page on the Internet may be removed from that register when no application is filed by the blogger if access to the given website or website page on the Internet during six months is below 3,000 users of the Internet per day.
Twenty minutes into the future... thirty years into the past... it was 1987, and Max was the hottest television personality in the world, with the hottest television show. Actually, he had several shows. He started out in the Uk introducing music videos. Then he got his own talk show, also in the UK. And then a ground-breaking British television movie. New Coke made him their official spokesman. Then Max crossed the Atlantic to get his own sf show on ABC. He made the cover of NEWSWEEK, was parodied on the cover of MAD, did a guest appearance with David Letterman.
Alas, alack, Max Headroom's reign as the king of popular media proved as short lived as New Coke. His series on ABC was hailed as innovative, startling, ground-breaking, original... like nothing else on television... the first cyberpunk television show... but it proved to be way WAY ahead of its time, starting strong and falling fast, surviving for only two short semi-seasons, an initial run of six episodes, and a second season of seven. Then ABC pulled the plug, and Max vanished from the airwaves, surviving only in the hearts and minds of science fiction fans.
Thirty years have come and gone since that glorious year of 1987, and once again we're going twenty minutes into the future... in Santa Fe, at least. So mark the dates May 13 - May 20 down on your calendars, and be sure to swing by the Jean Cocteau Cinema.
That's the week we're having our M-M-M-MAXATHON!!!
Yes, that's right. We've having a whole week of Max, to celebrate his 30th anniversary. We'll be screening all fourteen episodes of his show: the original British pilot, "Twenty Minutes Into the Future," and the American remake of same, plus every one of the ABC hours that followed. You saw them once on your little-bitty 1987 tv set. Now see them again on the Cocteau's big medium-sized screen. With our world famous popcorn... and maybe we can even find some New Coke!
Some very special guests will be coming to Santa Fe to help us celebrate the anniversary. Head writer STEVE ROBERTS, who scripted the British pilot and crossed the pond to head the writing staff for the ABC show, will be flying in to join us, and MICHAEL CASSUTT, another of Max's writer producers will be with us start to finish. After thirty years, they're ready to spill all the secrets. But wait, there's more... Max himself is coming too. Yes, MATT FREWER, the one and only Max Headroom, will be on hand for the last three days of the M-M-M-Maxathon.
Oh, and one more thing. We'll also be featuring, for the very first time anywhere, two Max Headroom episodes that have never been seen or heard before anywhere, two episodes written by a guy you won't find listed anywhere in the credits for the show: me.
Yep. That's right. MAX HEADROOM is the great "what if" in my own television career.
For me, MAX came along after my stint on TWILIGHT ZONE and before BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. When ABC first greenlit the US show, they ordered six original scripts to follow the pilot, almost all of which ended up getting assigned to writers just coming off TZ. I was one of those. Mine was supposedly to be... hmmmmm, let me see now... the fourth episode of the series. My title was "Mister Meat." Now, TV writing in those days was a two-step process: "story with option to teleplay," they called it. You wrote a 'story,' a short plot outline with all the major beats and characters. Then, when the showrunners, studio, and network all approved it, you went on to write the teleplay.
"Mister Meat" never got that far, alas. The showrunners and my fellow Maxxies loved it, as I recall, but when ABC saw the story they reacted with horror. Way too disturbing and offensive, they announced, driving a spike firmly through my concept and sending me on my way. Which I why I never got hired onto MAX HEADROOM and wound up on staff on BEAUTY AND THE BEAST instead.
I got a second chance when MAX was picked up for a second season, however. As a freelancer, I got the choice assignment of writing the Christmas episode. And this time I went to town. Wrote the story, rewrote the story, wrote the teleplay, revised the teleplay. "Xmas" was the title of the episode, and it got as far as pre-production...
And then the show was cancelled. Rather suddenly and unceremoniously, I must say. America was spared from celebrating Xmas with Max.
Ah, but with strange aeons even death may die... and like all good writers, I never throw anything away. So as part of our Jean Cocteau M-M-M-Maxathon, the world will meet "Mister Meat" and "Xmas" for the first time. "Mister Meat" is just a short treatment, so I will be reading it myself on the third day of the marathon, in the slot it would have filled if it had been filmed. Come and hear the episode that ABC deemed too offensive and disgusting for Ronald Reagan's America.
As for "Xmas"... hell, we have a whole finished script of that one, so we're going to be performing it, live, on the tiny little stage at the Jean Cocteau. Lenore Gallegos will direct, and the parts of Edison Carter, Bryce, Theora, Blank Reg, Max himself, and all the rest of the gang from Network 23 and the ZikZak corporation will be performed by a fearless cast of local actors... whoever ends up playing Max will HAVE to fearless, to play the part with Matt Frewer in the audience.
May 20. Be there, or forever rue your absence.
Oh, and as usual, the screenings will all be FREE.
((But we will charge admission for the performance of "Xmas"))
May 1, 2015, my first PL meet: I weighed 86.7kg and lifted a total of 550kg, for a Wilks coefficient of 358.11
March 4, 2017, my second meet: I weighed 81.2kg and lifted a total of 580kg, for a Wilks coefficient of 377.64
So, in Freedom Units, I weighed ten pounds less and picked up 67 pounds more; there's some haziness on my part as to what my top deadlift was - i seem to have 581# stuck in my brain, but because that's 264kg, it's not a valid weight; I would have had to either go with 260, 262.5 or 265, any of which would be both a huge meet PR, and the more I think about it, the more I think I went with 265, but need to check the official meet paperwork (which I will need to do in order to file my state record application anyway).
3rds: squat: 190kg* bench: 130kg (no lift; couldn't get it all the way to lockout) dead: 265kg*
These were all competition PRs for me (bench press +2.5kg, squat +2.5kg, deadlift +25kg), and that deadlift was a lifetime PR.
* = state record
The day's highlight, after going 8/9 (only missed my top bench attempt, which was 1.5lb over my projected max, at 286.6lb), was, of course, that deadlift (not shown: me nearly fainting after setting the bar down (breathe, you idiot!) and then celebrating after seeing I'd gotten the signal for a good lift.[1] ):
[1] after absolutely slaying my 2nd deadlift attempt, I may or may not have hugged my coach hard enough to feel her back pop (she set across-the-board PRs in all three lifts and her total on the day as well, and went 9/9)
This entry was originally posted at http://digitaldiscipline.dreamwidth.org/1060296.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
cutting weight via salt and water manipulation alone when one is predisposed to glycogen storage and elevated salt/sweating levels anyway is arduous as fuck, so i will be better at it next time.
that said, i managed to drop 15# in 14 hours and made my cut-off with half a pound to spare this morning. now it is time to eat and drink all the things, then fuck shit up on the platform tomorrow.
This entry was originally posted at http://digitaldiscipline.dreamwidth.org/1059924.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
i was perusing the other competitors in my age group and weight class - one of whom is a very casual FB friend who had to drop out due to injury, unfortunately - so it’s literally going to be just me and one other guy. which is still one more direct competitor than i’m used to, officially - there’s a guy in my gym about the same size i am, but he’s one age group younger, so our rivalry is purely of the mutually encouraging and shit-talking variety (he’s younger, better-looking, and marginally stronger than i am, the handsome rat bastard :-D (also, the guy who got me into powerlifting is also younger and prettier than i am, because he’s a six-five viking with hair down to his ass, but he’s been dick-punched by injuries lately, but we made a gentleman’s wager as to which of us would deadlift 500# first; he beat me by two days, but I put five extra pounds on the bar, so we called it a draw))
that said, i’m still excited about competing, because he’s the current state record holder in the 181# weight class (whereas I set mine in the next one up (198#) in my previous meet), and, looking at those numbers, we’re probably pretty evenly matched.
if things go extraordinarily well for me on the last lift, i have an outside shot at the american record in the deadlift for my age/weight classification. even if that isn’t in the cards next weekend, my next goal is to get down to 165# and set the world record in may, if all goes according to plan; having re-re-visited that, it might be possible to do the 181# WR if my deadlift keeps progressing well.
despite shit sleep (<6 hrs every night since tuesday[1]) and hurty shins/calves (due to hockey kicking my ass saturday night), good stuff sunday, i guess.
515#, 2nd rep: https://www.instagram.com/p/BQaq5Phjg2B/ - this is ~90% of my PR, which means it will almost certainly be my opening weight on the platform in three weeks
635# banded pull: https://www.instagram.com/p/BQa1BX9DRgA/ - if i continue to compete at 181, i'll need to pull this without the bands to set the world record. 585# moved so easily that i had to re-count the plates to make sure i hadn't forgotten one.
fifteen pounds of water bloat from sunday-friday was annoying and stupid but not aesthetically hideous; makes for an interesting comparison shot with the userpic, which is ~30 lighter). now i need to figure out how to get the fucking weight off so i can compete at 181, much less 165 (i'm back down five of those pounds as my body stops freaking out, but, still, argh)
(in semi-related annoyance news, it looks like blue sky cancelled the order of the stuff i was expecting to arrive tomorrow, so i need to follow up with them to ask wtf; in the interim, my coach was able to pick it up and i'll be reimbursing her when it comes in)
y helo dere anxiety dreams of unspecified provenance[1]:
cats keep escaping the house and occasionally getting hurt
phone battery dead and not recharging
can't find keys / my car
[1] i went to my neighborhood acupuncture clinic for the first time yesterday, and while the treatment itself was just dandy, the experience itself was just slightly out-of-round, from the chairside manner of the practitioner to being told on my way out that, despite turning my phone's volume all the way down, it had apparently gone off anyway, and i hadn't heard it (since i was apparently sound asleep), but someone else had :-(
605# band-assisted deadlift this morning, despite feeling like hammered ass (the band provides, according to a couple of folks at the gym, between 80-100 pounds of assistance off the floor, but essentially none at the top)
Hey, Donald Trump, President Trump, whatever the fuck you wanna be called,
I don't like you and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like me, if you knew who I was. See, I want you to fail so spectacularly that you are tempted to resign or take your own life on live TV and video streaming. Anyone who has ever had to deal with a pissy elderly relative knows exactly what you are: a belligerent shithead bullying your way through your episodes of dementia. You're just rich enough to be taken seriously with your mad ranting. And I don't give a fuck how much you suffer because of your mental decline. It won't be enough.
So I'm probably pretty goddamn low on the list of people who should be giving you advice, but here we are. You're the president and I'm one of your subjects...I mean, citizens, and you've talked about returning power to me, among everyone else. Maybe read this on your phone when you're sitting on the shitter, getting ready to pinch out a tight, angry, painful fiber-deprived loaf, before screaming out something idiotic for one of your ass-wipers to tweet.
Let me put this in the gendered language you love because it's so not politically correct:
Be a man.
'Cause right now, you're acting like a little, needy bitch, like a particularly well-pampered Pekingese that demands more petting and more treats. Be a man. A real man. One who doesn't require to be told endlessly that he's the best, the greatest, the biggest. One who isn't compelled to ask for affirmation from people who couldn't give less of a shit about things like the size of your inauguration crowd. I know it goes against your very being and how you've lived your entire stupid life. But give it a try.
You claim that you weren't making fun of reporter Serge Kovaleski's disability, that you were mocking him for "groveling." But you're the one who's groveling now. You're begging for everyone around you to buy into your lies and you despise it when reality intrudes on your well-wrought fantasy world. No matter how long you've done it, it makes you a pussy, a big, wet pussy just throbbing to get fingered and fucked, like all those that you claim you've grabbed, you walking virus.
A real man would have said, "Yeah, fine, I mocked the guy. I apologize and will try to do better." But someone in your life at some point, whether it was your despicable, racist father or your disgusting, verminous surrogate father, Roy Cohn, told you that men don't ever say they're sorry. Those people are wrong and dead. A real man mocks someone, admits it, and then either offers regret or says, "Come and get me."
After winning the election, all you could do was whine and lie. You didn't win the popular vote because of 3-5 million "illegal immigrants" fraudulently voting, as if anyone would go to the trouble of arranging the biggest fraud in history just to jack up the percentages in California. The media lied, you said, and you had an enormous crowd for your inauguration, even though photographs and anyone there who wasn't blind knew the truth. And you're "angry" about the size of the Women's March.
Jesus, look at how pathetic your bio is on the White House website: "Mr. Trump won the election on November 8 of 2016 in the largest electoral college landslide for a Republican in 28 years. He won over 2,600 counties nationwide, the most since President Reagan in 1984. Additionally, he won over 62 million votes in the popular vote, the highest all-time for a Republican nominee. He also won 306 electoral votes, the most for a Republican since George H.W. Bush in 1988. " Put aside the lie that your lower-third ranked winning percentage of the Electoral College is a mighty victory. Instead, look at that last line. There's been one Republican president since George H.W. Bush. So all you're saying is that you had a bigger electoral margin of victory than George W. Bush. You beat one guy out of dozens who beat you. And you're bragging about it? That's just sad and desperate, like "Look at the rabbits, Lennie" sad and desperate.
Now you're gonna have some great investigation into your delusion that there was fraud in the election (at least in the states that didn't vote for you, right?). And while, yes, your band of merry assholes can't wait to get them some of those sweet, sweet restrictions on voting rights, you know that you're doing this only because you want to prove some fucking worthless point. If one vote in California turns out to be cast fraudulently, even if it was just an error, you will cackle and dance like you just found gold in the Sierra Madres, you dumb fuck.
The PC pundits will tell you to act like a grown-up. But you and me, we don't play like that. We tell it like it is. So be a man. Get over this popularity shit.
And don't worry. We can still talk about how much of a cunt you are.
so, the other max-weight tests were yesterday, with satisfying, PR-flavored results.
High-bar back squats managed to work up to 395# (which is 60# more than I had previously done on this move, IIRC), though my all-time best squat is 445# using a safety squat bar (Jenn thinks that much weight with that bar should put me in the vicinity of 500# once I un-fuck my mechanics, even without getting appreciably stronger, which is nice).
And front squats were even more surprising, netting a 50# improvement, to 275# (and a half-rep miss at 295#), though I had never tested my 1RM on this move before (225# x 6).
Here's a shot of Kurgan, who is still stupidly cute.
Right at the upper end of the expected range, based on how this training cycle went, and just 15# below my all-time PR, which was done without the "competition pause" at the bottom.
Chasing three wheels (315#), might be in the cards for the March meet if all goes well. I'm nowhere near national or world record performance on this lift; that's about a hundred pounds above where I am this week.
Wednesday evening, my current bugaboo, the back squat, gets the same treatment.
* this week is testing my one-rep max (1RM), hence, not "testing one-two"
So, depending on which governing body my meet(s) are sanctioned by in 2017, there's a nontrivial bullseye on my radar:
The IPL world fucking record in the 165# Master's division (40-44) deadlift (both as part of the three-lift powerlifting thing[1], and as a standalone thing[2], though I'll need to figure out what the distinction is). I may need to find an IPL-sanctioned meet at which to compete to make one or both of these a reality.
The USPA's American records for full meet[3] and single-lift[4] are slightly higher, because there is a somewhat different weigh-in protocol, but they're also solidly in my sights. These are definitely the federation in which I am competing at the meet in March (though I am less certain if I'm going to do the May meet; I may recalibrate my lifting competition schedule based on how that shakes out).
At the "mock meet" on Sunday, my putative deadlift performance would have looked like this: - 1st lift, 515# (good) - 2nd lift, 545# (no lift) - 3rd lift, 545# (good) - 4th lift (allowed when going for a record), 565# (good*)
* good enough, per my coaches, for a gym lift, but I would need to hold it at lockout longer than I did to get "good lift" in competition, but their expert consensus is that the meet excitement would have made that a near-certainty.
[1] Currently @ 242.5kg (534#) [2] Currently vacant, with a 232.5kg (513#) bar to entry [3,4] Currently @ 250kg (551#)
“Right now, you're suffering under an enormous weight. We provide… leverage.”
Most of my kvetching and self-flagellation hasn’t made it to any public/semi-public blog posts (or anywhere outside of IMs and notes to my coach) because I don’t imagine it’s of much general interest, but, you know, it’s my space and I can unload shit that’s on my mind with relative impunity.
tl;dr - my back squat has gone to complete shit in the last couple of weeks because my left leg hurts a lot when I get under a moderately heavy* load.
I believe my response to being unable to lift for more than one rep at a time yesterday a weight I did for over a dozen six or so weeks ago was, “fuck me with a rusty minivan; I just want to scream and puke in frustration.”
The pain hasn’t responded to any of the therapies I’ve applied to it where it hurts (ie: my left thigh/butt): stretching, massage (self-administered and professional), a wide array of painkillers, muscle relaxants, NSAIDs, various liniments, TENS electrical stimulation, heat, and cold.
My clue light may have gone overnight - the line of discomfort is, to a rough approximation, very close to where a nonstop pain line showed up when I partially crushed one of my vertebrae and caused one of my lumbar discs to bulge two and a half years ago. And, hey, dumbfuck, notice how it only hurts if you move a particular way, or put over X pounds on your back at the very bottom of your range of motion? You don’t suppose that maybe, just maybe, you’re putting pressure on that in a way that pinches the nerve and makes it suck?
So, going forward, I will probably be revising my squat mechanics to, you know, stop doing that.
* in my case, this is about 1.5x bodyweight; for some people, that is, as the quote implies, an enormous weight. For others, it’s somewhere early in their warmup. For me, it’s about 65% of my PR, and about 70% of what my current working max ought to be, which is to say, it’s enough weight to pay attention to, but it shouldn’t be hard.
455x9 - https://youtu.be/l133YRFh1Tg (suggesting 1rm @ ~585, woot; a 10th would have crested 600 for a predicted 1RM, which is why I was hoping for it :-) SOON.)
have been dealing with a mystery issue in my left vastus lateralis with some aggrieved sartorius (which i always parse as the "sartorial muscle," meaning it's in charge of my fashion sense) for the last two and a half weeks, and it's manifested in positively shitty squatting and some weirdly acute pain when i move in particular ways. three 90 minute massages on consecutive weekends and what felt like something going 'poink' in a good way towards the end of today's workout has me feeling a bit optimistic, if rather tired after doing a lot of work in some gorgeous fucking weather.
Once upon a workout dreary, My squad rolled up, weak and weary, After Jaeger bombs the night before. Blearily, I recalled a honey, Booty tight, thighs like money, Wearing body paint and nothing more. Beside the iron squat cage, curling, Knuckles white around the knurling, Black wings buff despite the feathers, Bedecked with bling and other treasures, A crow-like bro just knew the score. “Skinny pins and triceps poppin’? You dudes use gear but your gains are droppin’ Droppin’ like your lame Wilks score. Get your ass beneath the squat bar or in my gym you won’t just snore. Either bring it hard on leg day, or call yourselves lifters nevermore.”
satisfied
sore
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